Judi Ehrlich's column that appeared Friday, July 20, 2000, in the Jewish Advocate:
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ASK THE MATCHMAKER COLUMN
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Dear Readers,
Last Wednesday night I heard the shocking news that my dear friend
and mentor, Rabbi Richard Israel, had died suddenly while hiking with
his son in the White Mountains. I want to tell you about this most
remarkable human being who had such a profound impact on me, my
family, and the lives of so many others.
As I was completing my degree in counseling psychology, I was advised
to contact Rabbi Israel, then the director of Jewish programs at the
Jewish Community Centers of Greater Boston. If there were any job
openings in the community, Rabbi Israel would be sure to point me in
the right direction. After a lengthy phone conversation, during
which he asked many questions that appeared to be unrelated to my job
search, Rabbi Israel asked if I had ever considered becoming a Jewish
matchmaker. I assured him that the thought had never crossed my
mind. He explained that the founders of New Possibilities, Linda and
Bill Novak, had donated their Jewish dating service to the JCC and he
thought I might be suitable for the job. My counseling program
hadn't included any courses on the subject of Jewish matchmaking, nor
had I ever met a Jewish matchmaker, but I accepted the position until
a "real" job came along. That was thirteen years ago.
Dick hired me and never ceased to inspire me. I will forever remain
indebted to him for giving me the opportunity to do this amazing and
enormously gratifying work. I feel blessed to have had him as a
supervisor and grateful for his solid, straightforward guidance.
Long after he left the JCC and our professional relationship ended,
Dick continued to nurture my personal development with books,
articles, stories, and advice. The delight with which he lived his
life cast a magical glow over young and old. When our daughter
wanted a dog, she adopted a retired greyhound, inspired by Dick's
relationship with his adopted greyhound, Giggles. On Grandparents'
Day at Solomon Schechter Day School, our son, whose grandparents live
overseas, invited Dick to be his special guest. Dick and his wife
Sherry invited our family to become a part of theirs. As a couple,
they were a shining example of tolerance, support, and commitment to
family and community.
In trying to comprehend our future without Dick, so many of us have
realized that one of his most remarkable qualities was his uncanny
ability to make everyone feel they had a very special relationship
with him. Sherry explained to me that he was able to do this because
every relationship was indeed special to him. Dick simply loved
people. As a matchmaker, this is the most important lesson I learned
from him. Dick was a living example of how, when you take the time
to listen to people and discover what really matters to them, you can
help them find what they are looking for. Dick, the consummate
matchmaker and fountain of information, helped so many people find
what they were looking for -- a life partner, the perfect job, a new
career, or a wonderful community.
New Possibilities was not his first Jewish matchmaking project. In
1983, as the director of the Hillel Council of Greater Boston, Dick
discovered how difficult it was for many Jewish singles to meet each
other. So he created Jewish Introductions, a dating service which to
this day continues to help Jewish students connect with one another.
For Dick, matchmaking was a calling -- a divine responsibility. As
a founding members of the Newton Center Minyan, it had become a
tradition for him to deliver the Rosh Hashana drash (sermon) every
year. This past Rosh Hashana, he recounted the midrash about Rabbi
Yose bar Halafta and the Roman matron who asked him, "In how many
days did your God create his world." "In six days," Rabbi Yose
answered. "So what has he been doing since then?" "He has been
sitting in heaven making matches," Rabbi Yose replied. "What kind of
an activity is that for a God?" she asked. "That is something even I
could do." Whereupon she went home, lined up all of her man servants
and maid servants and assigned each one a mate. The next morning they
emerged bruised and broken, missing eyes and teeth and all of them
complained about their partners. She immediately sent for Rabbi Yose
and said to him, "There is no God like your God." Rabbi Yose said to
her, "it may have seemed easy in your eyes but it is as hard to match
two people as it was to split the Red Sea."
I don't know where Dick is now, but I can see him sitting up there in
heaven, kibbitzing with God and helping Him make matches.